The frustration feeling when you want a thing so bad, but it's actually impossible to have it no matter how hard you try...
Let me tell you a story... When I was a kid, I'm always wanted to pet a cat. But my mom was against this idea completely. When I asking for reason, she said the cat will dirt the house, cloth, floor etc 'cause the cat is coming from nowhere, playing outside the house. That time, I'm so frustrated with the decision 'cause I found those answers were impossible to accept! However, when I grew up, I finally manage to realise that my mom was right. All the reasons she stated is true but why can't I accept it on that time?
I believe that as long as we live, we will have to deal with this emotion continuously. Its hard to find out what is right out of wrong when we what a thing so bad. And its harder to turn a wrong thing to become the right one. That is exactly how I feel right now.
I do admit that I have done something wrong in my path to grown up, but for now, I'm not regret for what I had done! But the utmost frustration is I can't fully have want I have now. Maybe it is time for me to learn to accept it? I'll try my best, but if I can hold you anymore... I will let you go freely from my hand and my heart.
Thus, even though I love you so much right now, its hurt to know that I can't completely have you in the future. Its hurt when I can't say "I love you" in front of everyone. Its hurt when other people can say this magic words openly instead of me. Its hurt me a lot...
It does hurt~
Picture credit: Mr Google